Oh

"Sometimes I feel like you're going to let yourself die before you ever ask for help," he avoided eye contact as I focused on his mouth.
I didn't want to hurt him and tell him he was right.
I didn't want to put more damning evidence on the table
of what an awful person I really am;
how I will never tell any of you when I really need help.
When I really need you to stay,
I will never beg you,
even though I want to.