Holding on for dear life.

'Are you?' He asks.
I can't imagine what the words were that he just sent towards me. Excuse me?
'You holding on for dear life over there?' Trailing off as I held both my wrists with both my hands. 
Making sure I wasn't floating away. 
Solid.
Secure.
Anchored down, if only physically to these bones.
There was some discussion and laughter interchanged in the warm salty air.
My tongue tastes like blood. 
Previous drunk and long nights full of talking too much leads to the biting of lips and the tongue nervously, without noticing until the blood is seeping in. 
Spreading the taste of old dirty pennies between my minuscule taste buds.
I forget what my voice was saying.
So I forget what he's referring to once again. 
I'd be a better ghost if only I was invisible.
I drowned my vessel in tea and water.
He keeps shooting me odd looks.
I keep listening to the wrong voices.


The silver diet sprite can, sits bluntly on the table, bubbling away, hissing softly. Blue dotted snowflake designs sprinkled on the background.
Winter time; time for Holiday[s] cheer. 
More beer.
More fights.
More too many close calls on his part.
This winter won't be proper.
I hear questions of my return to Eastern sea-lands.
I don't have answers.
I wish I did.
I wish I had infinite dates of anything and everything, all through out the pine encrusted mountains.
I'm slipping between here and floating just out of reach.
I keep forgetting my cues and people think I'm an airhead, if they don't know me, or a stuck up bitch.
But I just don't want to say the wrong thing.
The crazy thing.
The thing about staring into the black abyss of the ceiling every night and praying that shadow that keeps flickering in the side of your eye will go away.
The white light that is too low to be a window light leak.
Because when you look again it's gone. 
But they're there, slinking in the day light, too.
You're really just thinking too much, too fast.
S l i p p i n g.


Hazy days with black spotted wings covering my eyes.
Oh, these iridescent lies.